Have you heard that saying? "You were given this life, because you are strong enough to live it." I call BS. If that's the case I would have chose to be weak. I would have chose live a simple life. One in which I can run, and hike, and swim with ease. One in which I can bake a cake, make dinner, clean my floors, all in the same day, instead of eating cereal for dinner because I mopped the floor, and I am too sore to do anything but breath.
Sometimes you can't turn lemons into lemonade. Sometimes things are just so effed up you have to look at it for what it is. Was I truly strong enough to live this life or did I learn strength in the face of adversity? Is there a reason for everything or do we find reason in bad things that happen? Is it really possible to find the good in everything? If you answered yes to the last one, you must not have suffered the deep profound loss and isolation that certain things in life bring, like the loss of a child, mental illness, or intractable pain.
Now this isn't a why me post. I don't whine or complain about what life has thrown my way. I also don't sugar coat it and make lemonade. Instead I retain it's tartness, it's sourness. I want you to see the raw, sour, painful bits of life we often try to hide. Not because I want to live a bitter life, but rather live a realistic one. Bad, nasty, effed up things happen to good people. Why is it some get cancer, while others don't? Why is it some live in chronic daily pain, while others don't? Why is it some live with depression and anxiety, while others don't? Those who suffer, are they any less worthy of a happy, peaceful life? Why us and not someone else? Is it random? Or some cosmic eeny meeny miny mo? How did we draw the short straw?
So I won't live life like I am dying, or live everyday like it's my last, nor will I believe I was given this life because I am strong enough to live it. There is no reason I got cancer, no reason I life with arachnoiditis. So what's a girl to do? I will attempt to make the best of day. Take it moment by moment. I will lean on like minded friends who suffer like I do. I will love my family, kiss my dog, and laugh. I will put one foot in front of the other as long as I am able to. But most of all I will remember lemons don't taste so bad.
